Yesterday Savannah said something interesting to me about the gifts she was given through her birth-parents, her talent with art and singing. She has decided that these gifts are from her maternal birth-grandmother. A few days ago the kids were skipping through Target and wondering out loud how tall their birth-parents were.
I am not bothered by their conversations, I'm actually happy that they feel comfortable asking and talking about them rather than fearing bringing the topic up. I'm curious to know if any of you have experienced something similar.
To Savannah's remark about her birth-grandmother I responded with the most honest answer I could think of, "It's entirely possible, I just don't know for certain."
Monday, March 29, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Oh, What a Day!
My kids are "twins" again!
Tuesday night proved to be more challenging than I'd anticipated as I tried to get the little miss to bed. Savannah just had to show me the latest creations she had made for Butterfly Designs, the name of her design label. Then there was the reminder of "Mom, this is the last night I will go to bed as a five year-old. Tomorrow I'm 6!!!"
Tuesday night proved to be more challenging than I'd anticipated as I tried to get the little miss to bed. Savannah just had to show me the latest creations she had made for Butterfly Designs, the name of her design label. Then there was the reminder of "Mom, this is the last night I will go to bed as a five year-old. Tomorrow I'm 6!!!"
The school day proved to be the perfect level of excitement for a kindergartner's birthday... especially after the leprechaun's raced through the kids' classes while they were at Mandarin class. 
A few things surprised me today. First off, Savannah seemed to be more excited that her birthday is on St. Patrick's Day than it actually being her birthday. She'd told her friends that if your birthday is on St. Patrick's Day the leprechauns bring you a pot of gold. Sure enough after school she found her cup of gold coins in the yard, nestled among some green grasses and tulips.
The other thing was that I had no idea how much it meant to Baden that the kids are twins. He created a video message for Savannah that had me struggling to maintain a straight face when I wanted nothing more than to laugh. "I'm so happy that we're twins again! Yay!" The genuineness in his voice was so touching.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Savananh Turns 6: A Retrospect
Tomorrow my first child, my baby as it turns out, turns 6 years old and once again my two children will be the same age for the next 7 1/2 months (give or take 2 days). How time does fly.
When it came time to actually celebrate her birthday with her friends from her Toddler pre-school class, I embraced my first chance to make birthday cupcakes by channeling my inner Martha Stewart (sans staff of course). Thank goodness Peeps come in a plethora of colors!
Savannah turned 4 and celebrated her birthday at my parents house, hosting a "Princess Tea Party" for her friends, who all came dressed up like various princesses.
March 17, 2009: Savannah turned 5. She'd celebrated her birthday with friends the Saturday before her birthday with an ice skating party at the Sportsplex and she loved sharing ice skating with her friends.
Me: Do you mean us?
S: No, my real parents.
Me: We are your real parents just like you are our real daughter.
S: I know that Mom. I mean my birth-parents in China. Do they know my real birth date?
Me: Yes, they do. I can also tell you that the doctor I spoke with (an adoption pediatric specialist) when we received your referral felt very confident that March 17th is your birth date because of how old you were when you were found.
S: Oh. Okay.
Right now simple answers and conversations seem to help her understand, though knowing how her mind works the bigger questions will come sooner than later.
I will never forget what I was thinking on March 17, 2005, on what turned out to be my daughter's first birthday. Referrals were coming in from China and friends were celebrating seeing their children's faces for the first time. I was thrilled for them, but at the same time felt crushed. Our dossier was logged in just a few days short of the cut off for the month of September, causing us to receive our referral in April with a large number of the families who had been logged in during October 2004. I was working that night and thought that leaving for the mall a little early would help, retail therapy can sometimes work wonders. I bought a lovely floral spring-like purse at Old Navy. Nothing extraordinary, but somehow the green and turquoise print seemed hopeful and soothed my soul for the moment.
Her second birthday was her first official birthday party, and really the first time we realized that she's not much of a cake girl. Looking back at the pictures of her eating, the ice cream is going away but the cake remained untouched.
Savannah turned 3 in 2007 and we did something a little different for Savannah's birthday that year. My youngest niece and Savannah have birthday's three weeks apart (the girls are 1 year apart in age) and we decided to do a Groovy Girl themed combined birthday celebration for the girls. I'm not sure who had more fun with the theme - the mom's for creating the most mis-matched Groovy Girl outfits or the girls and their cousin Caleb (who is 5 weeks older than Savannah) for feeling so dressed up. Regardless, it was a fun way to celebrate Savannah's first "kid birthday party."
When it came time to actually celebrate her birthday with her friends from her Toddler pre-school class, I embraced my first chance to make birthday cupcakes by channeling my inner Martha Stewart (sans staff of course). Thank goodness Peeps come in a plethora of colors!
Savannah turned 4 and celebrated her birthday at my parents house, hosting a "Princess Tea Party" for her friends, who all came dressed up like various princesses.
March 17, 2009: Savannah turned 5. She'd celebrated her birthday with friends the Saturday before her birthday with an ice skating party at the Sportsplex and she loved sharing ice skating with her friends.
Tonight at dinner Savannah asked a very poignant question on a topic that isn't off-limits, it just took me by surprise because I don't really remember bringing it up before. My guess is that her line of thinking came from talking about Baden's birth date given to him by officials at his orphanage. The conversation went like this:
S: Does my family know my real birth date?Me: Do you mean us?
S: No, my real parents.
Me: We are your real parents just like you are our real daughter.
S: I know that Mom. I mean my birth-parents in China. Do they know my real birth date?
Me: Yes, they do. I can also tell you that the doctor I spoke with (an adoption pediatric specialist) when we received your referral felt very confident that March 17th is your birth date because of how old you were when you were found.
S: Oh. Okay.
Right now simple answers and conversations seem to help her understand, though knowing how her mind works the bigger questions will come sooner than later.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Brief Follow-up
In my blog post on March 1, 2010 (Observations and Reflections) I remarked on how Savannah's drawing seems to reflect her environment and the people she is around. I'm not certain if this coincidence or not, but since our most recent trip to Vancouver Savannah has been creating people who appear to be Chinese vs. the blonde-haired and blue-eyed variety she had been doing.
Below are two examples of her art. The one in color was done in early February and the one in black and white was done over this past weekend.
"Girl in Spring" by Savannah Kowal
"Girl from China" by Savannah Kowal
I'm not sure of the entire story behind the "Girl in Spring" picture, but the "Girl from China" (who she insists isn't her) is what this little girl looks like after "she has been spinning around and around, suddenly stopping and feeling very, very dizzy." (Which explains the eyes moving around in her head.)
Coincidence or not, I find the shift interesting either way. Oh, and when I did ask if this was a picture of her I was quickly corrected by a series of rhetorical questions, "I don't have hair things like this do I? My dresses from China are short-sleeved, not long sleeved like this one. My lips aren't big like hers are they?" I countered with "Well, yes you do have hair pretties like that, you just haven't worn them in a long time. No, you are right you didn't have a long-sleeved dress like that, but you did have a coat and now a vest with frog closures. And yes dear girl, your mouth is shaped like that. I know that because I've been smooching you for years now." In the end we decided to call it a truce and hug it out instead.
Monday, March 1, 2010
2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver BC Canada!
Last week I was able to cross an item off my "bucket list" - visiting an Olympic host city while the Games were actually going on. It really does help with the host city is an hour away - lol! The kids didn't have school last Monday, so Scott and I took advantage of the opportunity and made our way to Vancouver. We had so much fun, and I am not embarassed to say that it was killing me to not be able to get back there as the week wore on. Even last Friday night I was trying to find a way to even get to Richmond to check out the action there.
One of several entertainment venues in Vancouver and the surrounding area, Live City Downtown. At night several bands would perform after the contests of the day were done, and during the day attendees could keep up with the jumbotron and and other tv's within the venue.
Below: The Olympic Athlete's Village
Above: The girl behind Savannah is the one Savannah befriended on the playground.
Scott and I got a good laugh over this sign, in part because it reminded us of signs we saw in China when the meaning of a sign got lost in translation. Does this mean that cyclists from other provinces can go straight? 
Above: The kids in front of the official countdown clock for the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi Russia. Below: This is the end of the line to get into the Russia House... it wound from this point to the left toward the Athlete's Village, back toward the building itself, back to the left and and then along the Seawall to get in. 
Below: This tree was part of a "forest" of lanterns created by artwork done by local kids. I would have loved to see this lit up at night.
Above: The kids loved watching the various street performers we encountered walking along Robson St., including a special appearance by the Bob sled team featuring Bob and Bob.
Below: The official countdown clock was reset to count down the upcoming Paralympic Games this month
Below: Even more spectacular at night. After experiencing one day at these Games, if I lived anywhere near London I would move heaven and earth to get there in 2012.
Here are some of the highlights of the day:
Below: The Olympic Cauldron nestled along Burrard Inlet next to the International Broadcast Center
Above: If you saw Bob Costas outside, you saw this behind him.
Of both my kids Baden can come across as the shy one at times, but when a camera is out he is the first one in the picture.
Above: If you saw Bob Costas outside, you saw this behind him.Of both my kids Baden can come across as the shy one at times, but when a camera is out he is the first one in the picture.Above: The girl behind Savannah is the one Savannah befriended on the playground.Scott and I got a good laugh over this sign, in part because it reminded us of signs we saw in China when the meaning of a sign got lost in translation. Does this mean that cyclists from other provinces can go straight? Above: The kids in front of the official countdown clock for the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi Russia. Below: This is the end of the line to get into the Russia House... it wound from this point to the left toward the Athlete's Village, back toward the building itself, back to the left and and then along the Seawall to get in. Below: This tree was part of a "forest" of lanterns created by artwork done by local kids. I would have loved to see this lit up at night.Above: The kids loved watching the various street performers we encountered walking along Robson St., including a special appearance by the Bob sled team featuring Bob and Bob.Below: The official countdown clock was reset to count down the upcoming Paralympic Games this monthBelow: Even more spectacular at night. After experiencing one day at these Games, if I lived anywhere near London I would move heaven and earth to get there in 2012.
Observations and Reflections
Lately I've been thinking about a comment that Hao Yuan made to me a few weeks ago. (She is the university exchange student that lived with my parents for a bit last school year and who is now attending our local community college.)
Yuan told me that she is really starting to settle in at school and with living back in the USA. She really enjoys her classes and is proud of the progress she is making as she continues to learn English. She told me that one of the funniest things, that she hadn't expected, has actually happened to her... sometimes she forgets that she's Chinese and sometimes it surprises her when she looks in the mirror and sees an Asian face looking back at her rather then one more of the Caucasian variety she is used to looking at.
On the surface that may sound improbable to many people. I mean come on now, right? I know what she means though. When we first landed in Beijing, and probably for the first day, I felt like I stood out like a neon light as we toured around and explored the area around our hotel. As the days wore on however I felt like I was blending in.
Since school started I've noticed a change in how Savannah draws pictures of people, other than herself. Virtually every person has blonde hair, whereas last year hair colors varied. Since Yuan made the remark about forgetting that she's Chinese, I began to place that perspective as a filter of sorts on Savannah's life. Looking at school she is the only non-Caucasian in her class, and with the exception of one girl every other girl is some version of blonde. There's me (another blonde) and the cousins she sees the most are all blondes. A few weeks ago I asked Savannah why she has been drawing girls with blonde hair and not other colors and got a shoulder-shrug response and "I don't know." I let that go for now because I want her to come up with questions when she is ready to ask them, and will continue to observe in the meantime.
I'd put this whole line of thinking on the back burner, until our trip up to Vancouver last week to spend a day at the Olympics. (We're so lucky to live in town that was so close to the action that a day trip was easily doable.) We arrived in Vancouver around 9 am and wandered around, checked out a few spots and had lunch at Live City Downtown. Figuring that we needed to give the kids a break we headed down to False Creek to a playground we'd spotted when we were up in Vancouver in January, but hadn't actually stopped at. The weather was amazing, temps near 60 F and kids were all over the place. The ethnic mix seemed fairly balanced between Asians and Caucasians and our kids blended right in with the crowd. In fact I was thrilled that I'd put Savannah in a bright green t-shirt as it was easy to spot her, Baden on the other hand wore a navy blue Team USA tee and really mixed right in. After a bit we continued on along the Seawall, past several of the provincial pavilions that were there as part of the Olympic festivities toward Science World and the Olympic Village. For the Olympics, Science World was converted into the home of Russia House - Sochi Russia's launch venue of the 2014 Winter Olympics. Along the way we stopped off at the same play area the kids had played at in January, and this time it was much more crowded than before. Savannah was delighted to continue working on mastering the monkey bars there and had a good time playing with another Asian girl. At one point Savannah asked her "Are you Chinese?" The girl (who was about 7 or so) looked at her like she was asking a silly question and said yes. The expression of delight and the sound of her voice as she exclaimed "Me too!!" made me smile and at the same time realize that we need to spend more time in Vancouver on a regular basis. While Seattle has a large Asian population, it's nowhere near Vancouver's, which is much more like San Francisco in that respect.
Baden's day-to-day experience is slightly different, beginning with the ethnic demographic in his class: 2 Korean-American kids, a boy whose mom is Chinese and dad is Caucasian and Baden, obviously, as well as a 2 kids who are another ethnic mix (I know that one is Mulatto and my guess is that the other one is as well). Aside from school everything else is really the same. Baden tends to draw more animals than people, so I haven't been able to use his art work to interpret his perspective as much, and when he does draw people it's generally him (with dark hair.)
It's interesting to see what people and places look like when we see them through our children's eyes rather than use our assumptions and perspective as a filter on their life. Really eye opening in a way. With this new paradigm in place I hope we can add experiences and adventures into our lives in a manner that is more subtle, rather than leaving the kids feeling like something we're trying to force on them.
Yuan told me that she is really starting to settle in at school and with living back in the USA. She really enjoys her classes and is proud of the progress she is making as she continues to learn English. She told me that one of the funniest things, that she hadn't expected, has actually happened to her... sometimes she forgets that she's Chinese and sometimes it surprises her when she looks in the mirror and sees an Asian face looking back at her rather then one more of the Caucasian variety she is used to looking at.
On the surface that may sound improbable to many people. I mean come on now, right? I know what she means though. When we first landed in Beijing, and probably for the first day, I felt like I stood out like a neon light as we toured around and explored the area around our hotel. As the days wore on however I felt like I was blending in.
Since school started I've noticed a change in how Savannah draws pictures of people, other than herself. Virtually every person has blonde hair, whereas last year hair colors varied. Since Yuan made the remark about forgetting that she's Chinese, I began to place that perspective as a filter of sorts on Savannah's life. Looking at school she is the only non-Caucasian in her class, and with the exception of one girl every other girl is some version of blonde. There's me (another blonde) and the cousins she sees the most are all blondes. A few weeks ago I asked Savannah why she has been drawing girls with blonde hair and not other colors and got a shoulder-shrug response and "I don't know." I let that go for now because I want her to come up with questions when she is ready to ask them, and will continue to observe in the meantime.
I'd put this whole line of thinking on the back burner, until our trip up to Vancouver last week to spend a day at the Olympics. (We're so lucky to live in town that was so close to the action that a day trip was easily doable.) We arrived in Vancouver around 9 am and wandered around, checked out a few spots and had lunch at Live City Downtown. Figuring that we needed to give the kids a break we headed down to False Creek to a playground we'd spotted when we were up in Vancouver in January, but hadn't actually stopped at. The weather was amazing, temps near 60 F and kids were all over the place. The ethnic mix seemed fairly balanced between Asians and Caucasians and our kids blended right in with the crowd. In fact I was thrilled that I'd put Savannah in a bright green t-shirt as it was easy to spot her, Baden on the other hand wore a navy blue Team USA tee and really mixed right in. After a bit we continued on along the Seawall, past several of the provincial pavilions that were there as part of the Olympic festivities toward Science World and the Olympic Village. For the Olympics, Science World was converted into the home of Russia House - Sochi Russia's launch venue of the 2014 Winter Olympics. Along the way we stopped off at the same play area the kids had played at in January, and this time it was much more crowded than before. Savannah was delighted to continue working on mastering the monkey bars there and had a good time playing with another Asian girl. At one point Savannah asked her "Are you Chinese?" The girl (who was about 7 or so) looked at her like she was asking a silly question and said yes. The expression of delight and the sound of her voice as she exclaimed "Me too!!" made me smile and at the same time realize that we need to spend more time in Vancouver on a regular basis. While Seattle has a large Asian population, it's nowhere near Vancouver's, which is much more like San Francisco in that respect.
Baden's day-to-day experience is slightly different, beginning with the ethnic demographic in his class: 2 Korean-American kids, a boy whose mom is Chinese and dad is Caucasian and Baden, obviously, as well as a 2 kids who are another ethnic mix (I know that one is Mulatto and my guess is that the other one is as well). Aside from school everything else is really the same. Baden tends to draw more animals than people, so I haven't been able to use his art work to interpret his perspective as much, and when he does draw people it's generally him (with dark hair.)
It's interesting to see what people and places look like when we see them through our children's eyes rather than use our assumptions and perspective as a filter on their life. Really eye opening in a way. With this new paradigm in place I hope we can add experiences and adventures into our lives in a manner that is more subtle, rather than leaving the kids feeling like something we're trying to force on them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
