An Extraordinary SWI... all things considered

I've already mentioned the various events that are put on at Shenzhen Bao'an, all of which make this facility rather unique in the Chinese adoption world. Here's another example of what sets this SWI apart in our eyes. Baden just received a Christmas/New Year's card from Bao'an and this isn't the first. For the past three Christmas' he has received a card wishing him well. Whether it is an act or not, it is still a connection for him to China and way of letting him know that they knew he was there. Here's what this year's letter said:

"The yearly Christmas is coming quietly and New Year is in the corner now. This is reunion day, a happy time. We wish our dear child Bao Shi Bing and the other family members: Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Healthy all the year round.
Our dear child, we hope that our wishes and endless miss will accompany you growing up safely, healthy and happily!
Dear Scott and Margaret, we appreciate you a lot for what you have done for our child from the bottom of our heart. Bless you; good fortunes as you wishes and everything is auspicious."

The look of happiness on Baden's face as I read the message was priceless.

Now to go tuck this card in with all of the others.

Adoption Day! It's official now!

On July 31, 2007 we made it official by signing the adoption papers that made Bing Bing our son. Baden had been too keyed up from meeting his Forever Family and trying to get him to fall asleep had been a challenge. My sister had posted to the Journey to Baden group wondering how our night went, and this is the answer that I gave her:

"The night was great... PJ and I fell asleep finally. She kept sitting up to look over at her brother, who sat right up to look at her. She finally fell asleep (as did I) and left Baden to deal with Scott who was trying to get him to stop playing with all of the knobs on the nightstand that control the lights in the room... the White Swan light show was going on in room 1432! No, still haven't made it to 'bucks... dying for a hot coffee right now - actually a venti iced dulce de leche sounds FANTASTIC right now, but I'll take a hot whatever right now. :)

T - PingJing and BingBing's mom"

From the moment Savannah and Baden met it was clear that they were meant to be together. Neither Scott or I could imagine that there was another brother or sister meant for them and it was fun to watch their relationship develop and unfold.

Looking back perhaps there was a reason that Scott was the chosen parent for Baden, having me available for Savannah probably made her feel more secure about her place in our family. It certainly helped with the sleeping arrangement. Savannah and I slept in one bed and Baden had Scott. As you can see from the picture above we had to get creative with Baden sleeping. He was an active sleeper from the first night. After falling out of bed between the nightstand and bed we moved the bedspread and stuffed it in the space to at least give him a padded landing. He was also clearly attached to all of his new "things." Both blankets, the books and toys all had to be within reaching distance for him, and to this day he prefers all of his stuffed animals, including the huge panda and dinosaur he has, all on his bed.

Finally we were ready to head back to the Civil Affairs office to make it official. We were in a different part of the office this time and the waiting area was terrific. They had mini-gym equipment for the kids to play on and it kept these two active three year-olds busy.

This was a scene that I became quite familiar with over the course of the next two weeks... Baden safely contained by a very protective younger sister and the security of their Dad, while I sat in the back seat and played the role of the observer. This experience also gave me a taste of what Scott had gone through with Savannah. If he at all touched her stroller she was not happy and let him know it. The only way she would go to him is if he had Cheerios or a bottle for her. I had my own secret weapon... my stash of dried mangoes.

Savannah did a great job trying to bring out his animated personality. One of the early lessons was making silly faces. He was a quick study. :)On our way back to the hotel we stopped off at a Carrefour store (France's answer to Target, but in China it's like a Super Target on steroids). We hit the baby clothes area and picked up some clothes that would fit him. The 2T and 3 year size things I had brought fell right off of him (with the exception of the red shorts his Grandma Joyce had picked up - with the waist cinched in all the way they stayed on.) Though my son turned 3 years 9 months on the day we got him, I still had the chance to buy him baby clothes after all. We then headed down the escalator to the grocery area and was that ever an experience for him. The one thing Savannah wanted to do with Baden when we arrived back in Bellingham was to take him to the "food store." Her wish came true in China. We picked up bowls of ramen noodles, multi-litre sized bottles of water and then Baden discovered the Ritz cracker selection. We wanted Baden to begin understanding that he wouldn't have to worry about lack of food and being hungry again, so we stood back and let him pick out several packages of crackers to snack on. Satisfied with his choices we continued on. I'd been afraid that the entire scene would be too overwhelming for him, but as long as Scott was nearby to either hold his hand or carry him he was just fine. He actually tried to use the cash register when we checked out. I don't recall if the cashier was amused by that maneuver or not.

Back at the hotel room the kids were finally at a point of being emotionally wiped out and ready for a nap. They put their pajamas on and climbed on to the "girl's" bed, creating a moment that made my heart soar.

While the kids napped Scott and I had another chance to really look at the book the Bao'an SWI had given us as a gift, along with a glass figurine. This is how I described what we'd learned from the book (which was more like a informational brochure about their overall facility) " The SWI gave us a gift of a glass figurine/plaque along with this incredible 48 page book/pamphlet talking about all of the aspects of the SWI (they take groups of kids to the zoo and on other outside activities, Wal-Mart has a Christmas lunch with corporate people coming dressed in Santa hats, the Shenzhen Lion's Club is very active with the SWI as well - really all quite remarkable). Anyhow, as I was looking through the book I realized that the ayi's all wear pink jackets (it really looks more like a sterile uniform look for the staff vs. what Scott saw at Yihuang. I realized that yesterday when we got him I had on a pink blouse and that probably confused the poor guy."

Virtual Travelmates

Though Scott and I didn't have other families traveling with us per se, we were not alone in the virtual world. Through the Yahoo group I created we had ourselves a virtual travel group thanks to the cyber world. Before you begin thinking that there wasn't the same feverish excitement, here are some excerpts from the e-mails flying back and forth across the Pacific Ocean.

To kick things off... the virtual lecture and guilt trip provided by sister and then 4 year-old niece:
"Do you remember that saying that mom taught us growing us, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." By not telling us anything about the journey there, you have FREAKED me out!!!!! The flight must not of been good... Savannah screamed the entire flight??? She lost her miney? Scott took a sleeping pill and left you alone to take care of Savannah? Oh my gosh....YOU LOST OUR SHOPPING LIST???? See this is where my imagination takes me when you do not give us DETAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On a different note, I woke to Natalie crying last night around midnight. She was just sobbing. She finally blurted out, "I miss PJ!!! I want her to come home from China. Will Aunt Tassie bring her back home?" It was so sad, yet very sweet. When Savannah (PJ) first came home, Natalie did not want to have anything to do with her for the most part. Now, she adores her cousin and misses her VERY much. - Teresa"

Now, for the day we would take custody of Baden, also known as his "Gotcha Day"

From my sister, Teresa... and as you'll see my nephews and niece too:
"It is now 4:35 pm here in the PNW. It is 7:35 in Guangzhou. What time do you get him? Do you finalize today? Are you going to call? I hope the Panda phone arrived. I can not wait to hear his voice. His cousins are standing over my shoulder as I write. "How much longer?? I get to talk to her first. Is Aunt Tassie in Korea yet?" All these questions.....You can guess who asked about Korea. Yes, that would be the middle child. It is all about Andy!!!Please call us ASAP!!!!! - Teresa"

Here's my response back to them:
"We should be getting him around 2:30 this afternoon.... thank goodness there is no clock in the room because we all know that a watched clock doesn't move. We just finished breakfast and I left Scott and PJ in the play room while I came in here. We're in room 1432 if someone needs that and hoping to be able to bump up to a junior suite. So needless to say until I hear one way or the other this morning, our bags are still packed. Not to worry, the diaper bag is converted over from my traveling back pack to "we're going to get our boy" mode - two containers of bunny crackers pre-packed, the bag of treats for Baden consisting of three Thomas cars, his dog and frog from Bunnies By The Bay and a bag of dried mangoes that I picked up in Hong Kong.

Lori, just as you said the WS hasn't changed, everything is in it's spot... except for the noodle shop outside the first floor lobby.

Let's see what else can I say? I've been seeing a lot of babies... much younger than I remember seeing before. Though as Scott said, our referral group had children that were on the much older end of the baby spectrum going on 2 yo, so my memory could be a bit distorted.

One of the things I'd worried about for Savannah is if she would have any underlying fears about being back in China. She hasn't had one night terror since we arrived, so perhaps coming back and going home might help her with that subconscious fear. She has been a trooper.

Oh, thank goodness no flooding right now. It's great to actually see GZ without rain, a much different experience than our first trip. Today the high is expected to be 35. One family that ate breakfast near us just adopted their daughter from Jiangxi and they said that in Nanchang the temp was 104 with 100 humidity. icky sticky! The headlines today in the China Daily were that China is going to raise their production standards to be more in line with International standards as far as food safety etc. The other good news is that they've quarantined a group of carrier pigeons imported from the US because they were found to be infected and it wasn't caught when they entered the country originally. You learn something new every day, I didn't even know we exported carrier pigeons.

Yes, Teresa we do have our Pandaphone, which is acting as our clock for right now. No Andy, we won't be in Korea until the 11th, sorry bud. I do promise to tell you all about my experience in the airport. Maybe we can all visit Korea together. Nat, PJ found some great coloring books downstairs in the book shop... my guess is you want the Ariel one.

Stay tuned, brew a pot of coffee Teresa and be prepared for a 11 something phone call tonight.

Tassie... who is 5 hours away from leaving for Civil Affairs"

From my friend Bernice, who adopted her daughter at the same time we adopted Savannah (aka PJ):
"Oh, I'm so jealous you guys!!!! Finally an excuse to buy the "boy" lines at Gymboree! Enjoy every minute! - Bernice (Sitting here at work typing through tears!!)"

From my friend Toni:
"WOO HOO!! I am just back in town and checking my email!! I cannot wait for the news! Also, Teresa, the girls and I are planning to be at SeaTac when they arrive, so let us know if anything changes. Tassie was there for us when Ruby came home and our family still talks about her long drive to be there for us! - Toni"

I learned a lesson the first time when we adopted Savannah and I didn't call my sister the moment we got back to the hotel room. Not to make the same mistake twice I made use of the Pandaphone and happily woke my sister up in the middle of the night:
"Hi Everyone, I was awakened this morning at 1:30 am with a telephone call from Tassie and Scott. Tassie was beaming with JOY and DELIGHT!!! They had only been back at the White Swan for about 20 min. when she called. The kids were laughing and playing in the background. After a few minutes, I got to speak with Baden!!!!! He put his ear to the phone and said"Ni Hao! BingBing!" I could not believe it. I got to finally speak to my new "little guy". YEAH!!!! He has a VERY deep voice. In the background, I could hear Scott tickling the two of them and his chuckle is very contagious. He loves to play with balls and apparently, he has quite the arm. I heard some things topple over on the night stand. He discovered the Video Now Jr. and asked Scott to show him how to use it. Scott yelled out, "I think we need to get a Wii!!" I told them about the electronics market up the street when Mike got some great deals on video games. Now back to BingBing. He went potty while I was on the phone. They had him wearing girl panties at the SWI. Scott quickly put a stop to that and BingBing got to pick out his VERY OWN big guys undies. He choose the stars and stripes from this summers Gymboree line. He carefully folded his girl panties and his overalls and put them in the drawer. I told Tassie to encourage this behavior. I know his future wife will LOVE him for this special "gift". BingBing is VERY small. Tassie is guessing that he is wearing a 12-18 month pant and a 18-24 month top. He is about 6 inches shorter than PJ. She mentioned that he probably has not had a lot of protein. I am sure this has changed by now. Those of you that have BTDT can remember the buffet at the White Swan. He loves fruit, bunny crackers and yogurt. I am sure he will discover more yummy things as the weeks and months go by. One more thing that Tassie said BingBing really likes so far and that is books, Curious George to be exact. Oh, and of course his Pottery Barn blanket. PJ and BingBing were playing hide and go seek with it. They sounded so happy together. As many times as I told my sister that she was crazy for taking PJ with her, I need to say, "You were right and I was wrong!" I will only say this once, so I hope you did not skip that line Tassie. It was definitely the right move in this case. It was a great way to build trust. So, Tassie, go and enjoy your new family. Come home with lots of memories and stories to share with the rest of us at home. Give them lots of hugs and kisses. BingBing has a lot of catching up to do. Knowing PJ, I am sure she will help fill in the gap. I love you guys. Enjoy, call if you have a chance and please, have a safe trip home. PLEASE post some pics if you can. - Teresa"

My friend Teresa H. also chimed in after reading my sister's report to the group:
"Adding tears from the Horvet house too! It sounds like he has been well-prepared and is loving his new family.We are thrilled for the whole Kowal family. Thanks for the updates to the rest of us patiently waiting by our computers. Enjoy your son! Boys are great! - Teresa"

And from my friend Sharyn came these celebratory words:
"YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can hear the joy in Tassie's voice, the pride in Scott's and the sounds of the children laughing as you write this, Teresa. Thanks for being our "link to Tassie." Oh, and I could hear the relief in your own written voice. I think you've been more worried than Tassie!! LOL Tassie, Scott, PJ and BingBing: Congratulations to you all! We can't wait to see you guys and meet BingBing. Now...post pictures!!! :-)) Lots of Love, Sharyn, Paul & Joy"


Some people asked why I didn't do a blog for our adoption trip, and for anyone who knows me well... I like to talk. For me the Yahoo group was a much more conversational way of communicating and when you're a world away navigating personally uncharted territory, that kind of dialogue is beyond value. Looking back at the message list makes me chuckle, posting after posting from people in North America and then an onslaught of responses from me.

Stay tuned... Baden's Adoption Day is the next topic.

Gotcha!

On July 29, 2007 we took the Turbo Ferry up the Pearl River Delta to Guangzhou, where we we would receive Baden the following day. As we approached an industrial looking area just beyond Hong Kong, I wondered if this was Shenzhen. Given its location to Hong Kong and the mountains we had passed my guess was that it was some part of Shenzhen. I watched the scene as we cruised along and wondered where my boy was at that moment. Did he know that we were coming? Was he aware that his entire world was about to change? I sent a prayer out to the cosmos that his last night before we met him would be a good one and that things would go smoothly for him the next day. We arrived at the ferry terminal in Guangzhou and the experience of clearing customs into Mainland China couldn't have been more different from our first adoption trip. In retrospect it was as if we were a new traveling zoo exhibit... the two Caucasian adults disembarking from the ferry with a 3 year-old Chinese girl in tow, calling us Mommy and Daddy. When we arrived in Guangzhou with Savannah two years earlier we had the luxury of an incredible guide taking care of the paperwork, telling us what documentation we needed - all in all a very insulated experience. This time my ability to order a cold beer, saying that something was "danger", "thank you," "hello" and "you're welcome" wasn't going to get me far. As we anxiously stood in line to speak with the customs agent we spotted the woman we figured to be our guide. Unfortunately she was required to remain behind a railing and wasn't readily available to translate. Truly so close and yet so far. Finally we'd managed to answer all the questions and explain why we were in China and allowed to continue on. The van ride to Shamian Island was about 1 hour and in that time we were able to see an aspect of China we hadn't really seen before. The houses were all two story and though the architecture echoed Chinese, there was also a strong South Pacific influence.

We checked into the White Swan Hotel, our temporary home for the next two weeks, and had a chance to get settled in and prepare for whatever could happen the next day. Our last night as a family of three was upon us. I hoped for things to go smoothly, knowing full well that with adoption hand overs anything was possible. We could have the heart-breaking screaming child like one of our travelmates in 2005 had or the catatonic state that another girl from our travel group had been in for days. In a way, if I'd had to choose I'd take the one who screamed because that was the child who was at least aware of their emotions and capable of feeling them. That was the child who felt safe enough to fully feel the depth of their loss. As hard as it would be on us, we would find a way to work through that trauma. I thought of the wise words the head social worker at WACAP had shared during our WACAP Weekend in 2004 - the depth of the child's grief also shows the depth of their capacity to bond and attach. I had held on to those words in 2005, and little did I know they would soon become my mantra.

July 30, 2007 - Baden's Gotcha Day!!!

After breakfast we headed off to the Guangdong Civil Affairs office, a building tucked away along a back alley that you could only find if you were looking for it. Li, our guide, took us up to the room where we would meet Baden. Savannah was excited that we were finally going to get her brother, expressing her joy and anticipation while Scott tried to get the cam-corder ready and I had the camera in hand. While all this was going on I watched a woman walk in holding the hand of a little boy who appeared to be Baden. Hopeful and thrilled, I told Scott that I thought that Baden had just walked through. Scott told me hadn't seen them and couldn't verify that I wasn't imagining things, but my heart knew better. I had just had my first glimpse of my son! I kept looking through the open doorway where our guide was, hoping to see this little boy again. Eventually Li joined us and moments later Baden was escorted out to us. The scene couldn't have been more different from our first hand-over. Gone was the chaos and sounds of 13 crying babies and in its place was a quiet and scared little boy. A very confused child. I told him "Ni hao Shi Bing" and tried to get close to him only to be quickly rejected. Scott tried as well and was ignored, but not as strongly as I was. Getting out all of the toys that were in the backpack for him, Savannah made an effort to engage him and after a moment was deemed cautiously trustworthy. It was as if he looked at her and thought "Well, she looks like the kids I've played with - okay." She was the one that bridged the divide and made all the difference for him. Though technically younger, she placed herself in the position of the teacher, the sister who would show him the ropes. Fortunately the woman from the Bao'an SWI was not in a hurry to leave, allowing us to take time to work through the transition. Savannah tried to teach Baden about his toys, observing her move the Thomas the Tank train cars around. She showed him the board books we brought, and he clung to the Curious George book. She introduced his Silly Buddies from Bunnies by the Bay and he was mildly interested in them. Slowly he came out of his shell and warmed up to Scott. Meanwhile, instead of snapping the pictures I had waited so long to take I was filling out paperwork, signing document after document after document. My family was getting acquainted and I was working through red tape. Arghh!

Still not allowed into Baden's inner circle I watched and listened. I heard the woman from the SWI refer to him has Bing Bing and quickly asked our guide to find out if they had called him a nickname. Indeed he was called Bing Bing. Thank goodness I knew that important bit of information. I wouldn't want to get to know someone who was calling me a name that I didn't recognize either. I watched Baden begin to smile and become more comfortable and once again my heart became hopeful.

Soon the time came when the woman from the SWI had to leave. We took pictures with her and when she began to explain to Baden that she had to go and that he would stay with his new MaMa and BaBa he started to cry - hard, devastating, scared out his mind sobs. I watched with tears in my eyes as she explained that he now had a family of his own. I heard him say "Bu!" (No!) and cry "Ni MaMa." (You Mama). I quickly asked Li if this woman had also been his foster mother. (I'd found out in March or April that Baden had gone to live with a foster family, and wondered if this woman from the SWI had also been his foster mom. Li replied that she wasn't.) Slowly Scott took him in his arms and we all left the room and headed for the van, the woman from the SWI also escorted us out. As we stood on the steps of the Civil Affairs office I looked at the woman who had brought him to us and seeing that she was also a bit misty-eyed, I said "Xie xie ni," and placed my hand on her arm, hoping that she would understand the magnitude of my words. My heart was breaking for the pain that this dear, sweet boy was going through and on the drive back to the hotel had to remind myself that he really would have a much better future with us than being left in the orphanage.

We laid low that evening back at the hotel. Room service was a hit - lots of food delivered to your room was new thing for our boy. I managed to get Baden out the clothes he'd been wearing and into clothes I'd brought for him. The shoes however were a different story. Though they were quite obviously too small for him, they were clearly not coming off. I loved watching Savannah teach Baden how to play, and saddened by the fact that he needed to be taught how to play. Something that our children at home do so easily and naturally was a completely foreign task for him. We showed him his rolling Diego back pack that my mom had picked up for him, and it was instantly transformed into his storage place for treasures. Anything of importance was placed in the backpack - the toys, books and stuffed animals. The package of Ritz that I'd bought in Hong Kong before we boarded the ferry were of security as well. He'd pack them up and minutes later open his bag again removing the crackers to study them in wonder. Gingerly he would put them back in there. This scene played out every day for the entire duration of the trip and by the time we arrived back in Bellingham they were a pulverized mess.

In the picture above, Savannah is showing him her Video Now player and introducing him to her beloved Dora and sharing her favorite snack... Annie's Bunny Crackers. Needless to say I was soon wishing we'd packed more - lol! What Cheerio's were to Savannah in the beginning, Bunny Crackers were to Baden.

July 2007 - first stop Hong Kong

We flew out of Bellingham on July 25, 2007 and after what was all in all an incredible 17 hours or so on an airplane with a 3 year-old we arrived in Hong Kong on the evening of July 27th. We'd arranged for two tours over the two days we were in town, the first of which was a half-day tour of Hong Kong. We walked around Victoria Peak, explored Stanley Market and rode a sampan around Aberdeen fishing village. The sampan ride was certainly Savannah's favorite part and it was during the brief time we were on the boat that we both seemed to watch Savannah grow before our very eyes. There was a change in her demeanor and a different wisdom in her eyes. I'd hoped that she'd begin to create her own perspective on China and not create one for herself based on our experience, and at that moment I could see the seeds being planted.

Aberdeen Fishing Village

The world's largest floating restaurant

Above: Looking out towards Macau from the top of Victoria Peak. I loved seeing the blue sky and feeling the wind, and not for reasons you might think. I was happy that Baden had been living in a part of China that wasn't thick with smog and stagnant air, but near the ocean water where the air was fresher and he'd had sunshine when they were outside.

The following day was an incredible tour of Lantau Island. On one side of the island is Hong Kong Disneyland and the airport, with all the hustle and bustle you would expect of a major global city. On the other side was a step back in time. On the way to Tai' O fishing village we stopped off at a gorgeous sandy beach so that we could dip our toes into the South China Sea. Our guide told us that in a matter of years this stretch of beach is expected to be developed and lined with resorts.

Tai' O fishing village was something else... a glimpse into a traditional way of life as a small village tries to compete with the modern and big city, where the struggle to maintain its identity is as challenging as it is to keep their youth interested in maintaining the village culture. All I can say is thank you to Travel Channel for all of your shows featuring wild and crazy cuisine. At the time I described a picture of the village as being "one of those times that you're happy to not have scratch n' sniff pictures." Today the village has about 1300 residents.

That afternoon we had lunch at the Po Lin monastery that is nestled in the hills of the island and is where you will find the world's largest sitting Buddha. At our table were two gentleman from Bangladesh that were there on business. One of the men was relocating his family to Toronto so that his daughter could receive the medical treatment she needed. The other man with him was taking over his territory as a textiles rep. We so enjoyed getting to know them and learn more about Bangladesh. They were actually a strong influence on me in May 2008, when Scott and the kids gave me the gift of sponsoring a child through World Vision. We now sponsor a little girl there who is 8 months younger than Savannah.

The Long and Winding Road

I've heard people say that the best of intentions do not matter when God has other plans for you. How true that statement was for our journey to Baden.

On November 28, 2005 we turned in our application to WACAP to adopt our second child. The plan was to pursue the non-special needs route again for a girl. It had been very clear to us from our first night with Savannah that her personality was that of an oldest child, and our plan was to stick with a child younger than her. When we adopted Savannah we waited 7 months from the time our dossier was logged in at the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) in Beijing to actually receiving our referral. To us that seemed an eternity, though not long before that the wait had been so much longer due to SARS. As we began the paperchase for #2, getting our fingerprints done again at the police station, answering the questions for the social worker interview and gathering all the letters of recommendation and other paperwork together the wait began to creep up. First the wait was 7 - 9 months, then 10 - 12, 12 - 16 and continuing to creep up from there. One of our travelmates from Savannah's adoption happened to be the head of WACAP's China program and I finally asked her what she though the wait would end up being. Her response was that if they were to begin the process for #2 at the same time she would tell her husband to be prepared for a wait of 3 - 3 1/2 years. Ugh. My mom and her sister are four years apart, and though they get along now as adults they weren't necessarily close as kids. With a wait of 3 1/2 years and the child being approximately 1 year old at Gotcha there very well could be more than 4 years between Savannah and our youngest. Neither Scott or I wanted that much of a difference between our kids. As the months ticked by it was soon March and we were getting to a point where we needed to make a decision and commit. Just when it looked like a door was a closing, a window began to open up. WACAP had announced that they were launching a new Vietnam program and that they were looking for "pioneer" families.

We talked about it and Vietnam didn't seem like a real stretch ethnicity wise for our family. My sister has three children, all who have been adopted from Asia. My two nephews were both born in and adopted from Korea, with our extended family we had Filipino as well. So we made the choice to pursue adopting from Vietnam. Thankfully a good deal of our China dossier transferred over to meet the documentation requirements for Vietnam. After obtaining a few more required documents we were the first family accepted into their Vietnam program. The only problem was that the program still hadn't cleared all the hurdles because of ethics issues involving provincial government where WACAP hoped to be working. WACAP had already implemented the charitable causes that the Vietnamese government was requiring, there were just a few issues to work out for final approval. Each month we'd hear "any time now," knowing that the WACAP staff was just as frustrated as we were.

Finally it looked very close and we were told to go get finger-printed with the US Customs & Immigration. Scott and I took a chance and drove to Yakima, in South Central Washington, to the USCIS office that handled fingerprinting rather than wait for an appointment in Seattle. That was July 2006 - eight months after we'd turned in our initial application. Once we received approval from USCIS the clock began ticking. Though our fingerprints do not change, there is a timeframe for the background check done through the FBI and other government agencies. We had 15 months to travel and bring our child home without having to pay extension fees and be re-fingerprinted.

August became September, October faded into November and there we were in virtually the same spot one year later. We had snow that weekend after Thanksgiving and on the evening of the 28th Savannah and I were outside playing in the front yard when I glimpsed the moon. I often talked to the Moon Lady (a character in Chinese legend) and on this one particular night I simply asked for who ever was looking out for my child, wherever they were, to please keep them safe and let them know that I'm trying to get there as fast as I can.

My prayers were answered the following day while my sister was helping a friend of hers from NY look for their daughter on special-needs lists with agencies in NY. As she was contacting various agencies looking at pictures of girls her eyes locked on the picture of a little boy and in an instant she knew that this was her nephew.

Teresa called me and told me that she'd found my son and that she'd e-mailed me a picture of him. When I pulled it up the the first similarity I saw was his big brown eyes and how much they were like Savannah's. At the time Savannah was taking a nap and the moment she woke up I was in her room showing her the picture and asking her who the child in the picture was. With sleep still heavy in her voice she responded "That's my brother" with a big smile of contentment on her face.

I was excited and nervous all at the same time. Here was this wonderful boy sitting on a slide holding a stuffed Mickey Mouse that was just like the Minnie Mouse we'd bought Savannah at Disneyworld the previous January. My nerves were because he had been born cleft-affected, with both a bi-lateral cleft lip and palate. Though the big initial repairs had already been performed by doctors through China's Tomorrow Plan, I still had no idea of what of what was inolved with raising a child who'd been born cleft-affected. What would the impact be on Savannah? Neither of us wanted to take on something that would negatively impact her if there was a choice in the matter.

The following morning I was able to reach the adoption agency in upstate New York that had him on their list and request that his file be faxed to us as we were interested in pursuing him. The agency director had told us that this was the second time on the Waiting Child list and that soon his file would need to be sent back to the CCAA. She and the other agency staff couldn't figure out why this little boy hadn't been snatched up yet, with his file being with them for nearly six months. The wait appeared to be ending for him and for us.

That afternoon I called the pediatric adoption specialists at the University of Washington, Dr. Julian Davies and Dr. Julia Bledsoe, to schedule a referral consultation appointment and much to my surprise they had an opening for the following afternoon. When we consulted with them on Savannah's referral we had to wait nearly a week to get a phone appointment scheduled. Talking with Dr. Davies helped ease our concern and make the idea of cleft less daunting. We understood that the best case scenario would be approximately 5 more surgeries . The first being before he started kindergarten when a lip revision would be performed, with perhaps a nose revision after that. The next would be when he's around 8 or 9 for a bone-grafting to provide a place for his permanant teeth to take root in (taking part of his hip bone and grafting it to the upper jaw bone). Finally when he was later in high school the finishing touches to his nose would be done. Each surgery was timed to have his face grown enough to that point and to provide his face with room to continue to grow. There was the strong possibility that he would need speech therapy and tubes in his ears to combat infections as well. Dr. Davies added that he couldn't be coming home to a better part of the world as the Cranio-facial team at Seattle Children's is outstanding. Dr. Davies did have some questions about his physical growth that he wanted updated measurements on just to rule out any other syndrome tied to being born cleft-affected. He'd told us that in Asian countries for some reason children born cleft-affected have that as an isolated birth defect and not the outward sign of something else being wrong. That part of the face is formed before some people even know that they're pregnant, so his birth mom could have been exposed to something that led to him being born cleft-affected. I'd also learned from a friend of my parents who is an orthodontist that stress during those first weeks of pregnancy can also be a factor. I have no doubt that mother's in China are stressed when they first find out if they're pregnant or are trying to become pregnant as the possible causes are deep and dramatic. For instance, did they receive permission from their cadre leader (government representative that they report to) to try and become pregnant? Did they already have a child and would now be violating the One Child policy? Was there pressure to give birth to a son and not a daughter? For all of my friends who have been pregnant they, for the most part, have enjoyed their pregnancies. I cannot imagine one of them being in a position where they were afraid for some reason.

The next day I phoned Family Tree with the questions Dr. Davies had so that they could get a medical update request sent off to the CCAA. At this point all we could do is wait. Over the next few weeks I hoped and prayed that everything would be fine. Part of me was afraid to become to attached to his face and the idea of him out of fear that something would arise that would be too much for us to handle. Finally one day, as I was driving along with Savannah happily singing in the backseat, I tossed a prayer out asking for a sign that everything would be okay. The next song on the radio was this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_zi4OxJpY0

With tears in my eyes I felt a renewed sense of faith and hope just when I needed it. On December 22nd we received the updated information and the response from Dr. Bledose that everything looked good. Hooray!!!! What a Christmas gift that news was.

Remember that we didn't want a huge age difference between our two children? We had never thought that only 4 1/2 months was a possibility either. But that's what we have. Baden was given the birthdate of October 30, 2003 and Savannah was given March 17, 2004. (I say "given" because neither of them was left with a note specifying a birthdate and the medical officials at each SWI (Social Welfare Institute) estimated their birthdates based on their physical condition when they were found.) Baden's referral paperwork described him as wanting to be treated like the younger brother. We knew that if that was the case, we would still be in good shape as everything about Savannah screamed older sister.

Thankfully by now we were well versed in the art of waiting. Though we had identified him, we still had to create a third dossier and have our home study amended to specify Baden. We had to prove that we had looked into his special need and understood the possibilities that could come with being born cleft-affected. Winter became Spring and Spring turned into Summer. Finally in mid July we received the phone call we'd been waiting for - China had given their permission to come get him by issuing our Travel Approval! The rest of this story has pictures, so look for the actual trip to China to come soon.

Some of my favorite YouTube adoption videos

Do you remember the scene from Sleepless in Seattle when Meg Ryan and Rosie O'Donnell's characters are sitting around the table talking about the hubub when Jonah called in to Dr. Marsha Fieldstone's radio show and as the discussion at work continues the two of them fall apart, rambling on about moments that make them cry? For me, and pretty much any other adoptive mom I know, the world of YouTube has had the same affect. I know there must be an easier way of embedding the videos here, but this will have to suffice for now.
Settle in and don't forget your kleenex...

This first one is of a baby girl adopted from China in 2006. I love the expression on Katherine's mom's face as she's holding her crying baby girl. I felt that same way - she might be crying, but that is my baby I'm hearing cry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcpeXbDPgz8

This is Maya QiuJu adopted in July 2006. I was struck by the speech the woman from the Guangxi Civil Affairs office made. I honestly have no idea if someone from the Jiangxi Civil Affairs office said anything like this - most of that moment is a complete blur. I love how excited her older brother and sister are to have their mei-mei finally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umdkKoFCl0Q

The next two videos are quite special, the first is when they adopted their daughter Grace and the second is from three years later when they adopted their son Gabe. One of the qualities that strikes me about this video from the beginning is how accurate it is - the nervous banter in the elevator and trying to find the strength from within to help reassure a small human being who is scared out of her mind. Grace and Savannah are the same age.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zroxpp1sbCA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkIYHm-OqIU

This couple is entertaining. They're traveling to Korea to adopt their son through Holt International. I just stumbled upon this video this morning and loved the chance to see what it's like to travel to Korea to adopt. This particular part is Episode 6 of their journey. To get the full sense of their story you really need to start at Episode 1.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4jaGxi6ypQ

Aprril 2005 - Referral Day Energy

On April 18, 2004 I woke up from a dream with a smile on my face. I had dreamt that we had met Savannah. In the dream she was wearing a pink outfit and had "crazy hair" sticking up all over the place. In the dream I was frustrated because though I could kind of see her, I wasn't able to see her face. I was also frustrated because I had to fill out more paperwork, when all I really wanted to do was finally hold my daughter. That date proved to be a sign for reasons you'll see below. Here are some excerpts from e-mails that were flying in our Journey to Savannah Yahoo group at that time:

Sunday - April 17, 2005

"As I type this we are 55 minutes away from Monday on the West Coast (not that I'm watching the clock or anything). I hope we will have news tomorrow. You can bet that the minute we do, Scott and I will have our fingers dialing. To my family, if you don't answer the phone and I have to leave amessage please don't be upset that you didn't hear the news first. I'm going down the line from my parents first. I'm guessing that Scott won't be able to contain himself and he'll go tell Drew (mybrother), Mike (my BIL) and Dad - ah the joys of working with family, they can easily be tracked down. :) Savannah, the curtains in your room are hung up, toys are in one corner waiting for your fingers to touch them. Stuffed animals are scattered around waiting for you to hug them. The rocking chair that will be in your room is up at Grandma Margie's and Papa Joe's -Grandma got it all cleaned up and we just have some minor touch-up painting to do to it. For now, the wicker chair is keeping its place reserved. Your Dad will download pictures of the room tomorrow so that I can post them on your group. Hang in there sweet girl, mommy and daddy are coming and we can'twait to see our first glimpse of your face. We love you. Thanks to all of you for coming along on this incredible journeywith us. Let's see what Monday brings. :)

Tassie"

My friend Catherine responded on Monday morning with this:

"Tassie, WACAP should be opening soon and by the end of today, I'm hoping youwill be staring at Savannah's picture. I'm just as excited for youtoday as I was when I got Susanna's referral in January! Can't wait to hear all about Savannah. I've got that bottle of wine in the fridge just waiting to be opened.
Catherine"

A friend of mine from the September 2004 DTC (Dossier to China) Yahoo group posted about calling that weekend (Saturday) planning on leaving a message with her agency and was quite surprised when they actually answered. Joking about all the ruckus in the background she jokingly remarked that they must be working on referrals. They were! The first files were already received and in the process of being translated. Here's my response to her e-mail with this news:

"Okay, need to breathe.... where's that paper lunch bag I've been saving for this occasion?! I am so excited!
Our computer hadn't been working since Friday and I was worried that it wouldn't be up and running, thus making it impossible for pics of Savannah to be received here at home. Way to go Scott! You fixed it. (HUGE grin!)
Last night my sister, her friend Brenda, their girls and I went down to a gathering that WACAP had in honor of Sophie Wang (Sophie was the guide for their trip last year, as well as the guide for the China's Lost Girls families in the Lisa Ling show last year). We all had so much fun and several times I started to tear up at the thought that very soon my daughter will be among these kids. Then I was off chasing Natalie (my niece) down and the nostalgic moment moved aside for a bit. The parents we talked to looked at me with a look of "how can you be so calm with your referral so close?" I'm still trying to absorb that I could be mere hours away from that long awaited phone call. A couple parents asked if I was going to drive down from Bellingham to get the info on Savannah. I just realized that my car will be in the shop for a couple days! Ugh! So much for driving down, unless I can talk my sister or mom into a journey (Teresa, are you up for a 4th trip to Seattle in 9 days?)
Oh my, Savannah could be sitting on somebody's desk at WACAP right now. I wonder if they'er there working on translating today?
Holy cow!
Breathe in.... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out.
Tassie"

Written around 9:15 am on April 18, 2005

"Referrals are flying in! This morning referrals for families in Iceland and the Netherlands were being posted at about 7:30 West Coast time. On the late Sept board several families have received info on their daughter, but no pictures yet. One family expects pictures tomorrow.You guys, this is happening!! Scott, how do you work this silly video camera? If someone needs to call me, please call my cell phone (it's recharging at this moment) so that I can keep the home phone open.
pen to write down info - check
paper to write info on - check
digital camera to capture moment of call - check
Kleenex - check
Stay tuned!
Tassie (a very anxious and excited 1st time mom!)"

10:25 am on April 18 2005

"Okay, referrals are coming in from all parts of the US right now. One couple I know who lives in Tacoma WA (Karla grew up in Lynden, WA about 20 minutes north of where we live) just posted their referral, so I know that calls are coming in on the West Coast. I don't have to worry about the video camera, the battery is dead and I need to have a tripod to set it up on. We'll see how my shaky hands do with the digital camera. I won't have racoon eyes to worry about, mascara got skipped today. I have the rough draft of the posting referral saved in my e-mail. The Jimmy Buffett boxed set is open and is the only sound in the housebesides the clicking of the keyboard. Anything else? Advice is welcome from the btdt parents.
Tassie"

The significance of the Jimmy Buffett music is because Scott agreed to my desire to name my daughter Savannah because Jimmy Buffett's oldest daughter is named Savannah - and if it works for Jimmy then it certainly works for him. Thankfully I too am a Parrothead.

By 10:41 am I was so concerned about our computer crashing that I headed to my sister's house to hold a vigil there while we waited. My cousin and her baby boy were headed out there too, my sister0in-law called to check in throughout the day, while my mom and aunt kept calling to check in as they were shopping in Seattle. For anyone who has had a large roomful of people in the delivery room or waiting at the hospital, you'll be able to relate.
At 2:42 pm the phone call that I had waited 18 months for came... and on the same day in April the previous year that I dreamt of meeting my daughter for the first time.
This is some of what I posted on our Journey to Savannah Yahoo group:

"I received the call from our co-ordinator at 2:42 pm that we have our daughter. I am still stunned and in awe as I type this...Here's her info: Her name is Lin Ping-Jing - soon to be named Savannah Margaret Ping-Jing. She was born March 17, 2004... and has been in foster care since last April. We're still waiting on measurements, but do know that they were done last December. Our file is being translated and we'll know more in a few days. I'm going to schedule a conference call doctor appt with Dr's Davies or Bledsoe for Friday. So, check out these red threads...She was born on my cousin Regan's husbands birthday... she is 3 days younger than her God-sister Ellie (who is also adopted from China and arrived home the month before)
Tassie (who has a stunned, deer in the headlights, ear-to-ear grinall over my face)"

Here are the three pictures that we received as part of Savannah's referral packet.

Snapshots from 2005... our first 6 months with Savannah

This picture of Savannah was actually one of the first pictures of her that we received with her referral packet. As the husband of a friend of mine described her "She's got game." In her eyes I see a strong curiousity and wonder, and how she's walking towards the photographer showed me that cognitively she was in good shape. Of the three pictures that were part of her referral packet, not only is this the only that was dated, it was also a picture from the time of her first Christmas, dated December 22, 2004. This is what my baby girl looked like five years ago today.

Every parent needs to have a picture like this, and I just happen to have two. In this one Savannah had decided to have a little fun with her yogurt. I had walked down the hallway for a second, only to return and find my daughter coated in YoBaby. I believe that this led to her second bath of the day. The other picture is one that her Grampa Leo took when they'd come up for a visit, only instead of yogurt it was lasagna.

These two pictures of Savannah were taken a few weeks after we returned home. She was out running around the front yard, walking really never seemed to be part of her routine. From the moment we met, she was a girl on the go.

September 18, 2005 - Mid-Autumn Moon Festival celebration sponsored by Mei Hua Chinese School. In 2004 we attended our first Moon Festival and at that time I couldn't wait for the following year when we could bring our daughter as well. Savannah loved the music and dancing so much that at one point she rushed the stage at the Fairhaven Village Green for a better look. I had picked her dress out in Guangzhou specifically with this event in mind... the colors reminded me of later summer with just enough warm tones in the flowers to echo the colors of Autumn.

Here's Savannah on her first Halloween with us. I chose this costume because it reminded me of her life in China, living on her foster mom's farm and the chickens there that she loved. Soon enough my little girl would want to be a princess and have her own opinions, for now it was alright that I had my little chicken. Savannah looks at this picture now and laughs "Mommy, if I'm a Monkey why am I dressed like a chicken?" The following year she went as a Monkey and was content to match her Chinese Zodiac sign.

In late November 2005 the first snow fell and I was no where near prepared for it. Many a winter in the Pacfic Northwest can go by without snow, and as a friend of mine reminded me last week snow that falls on a Sunday is never around for Monday. So here I was, Savannah's first snowfall here at home and did I have snow gear for her? The layers I put her in were reminiscent of her referral pictures and how in China the children are layered so heavily that they soon resemble the Michelin Man. My little Monkey had a blast in the snow and quickly displayed a passion involving snow that still exists today... eating it.

It was also at this time that we turned in our application to WACAP to begin the process to adopt our second child from China. Little did I know how winding the road to #2 would be and how 2006 would teach me about patience, perseverence and listening to my heart. I would also be reminded about listening to my younger sister.

Savannah's first Christmas with us was memorable, not just for obvious reasons. It was warm that year... night time temperatures in the low 70's (compared to the 40's as our normal weather). Savannah was actually miserable in her lovely velveteen dress and blouse that I wasn't about to change out for something more appropriate for the unseasonably warm weather. I had dreamt of this occasion and I wasn't swaying. The look of disdain on her face was in response to my mom suggesting that it was time that she go home and go to bed. It's almost as if she was saying "Not happening Grandma." We left our Christmas Eve gathering two hours later, with our little party girl still going strong.

Tough Conversations

This evening Savannah walked into the den as I was writing my second posting here and asked what I was doing once she noticed the pictures of her as a baby. I explained that I was in the middle of writing about when we first met and she became my daughter. We've talked about her adoption before, I've mentioned that she has birth-parents who for some reason that we don't know weren't able to raise her and that until we met her she'd lived with a foster mom and her family. Savannah nodded her head when I reminded her of that, saying "Yes, I lived on a farm and she had chickens." She followed that up with "Was I an orphan?" I told her that in a way yes, because her birth-parents weren't able to raise her and I don't really know anything else about them. With tears in her eyes she looked at me and said "You mean they didn't want me?" I wrapped her in my arms and held her tight as I said that I don't know their side of the story but I could imagine this - they loved her enough to want her to have a better life than they could provide for her. She was found in a place where she could be found quickly and knowing that, it tells me that they wanted her kept safe and out of harm. I also reminded her of the Chinese legend of the red thread "A red thread connects all who are destined to meet, regardless of time, distance or circumstance. The thread may tangle and stretch, but it will never break." I reminded her that we have a red thread that has always connected us, to which she said "Yes, from my heart to yours Mom." I told her that I believe that she was always meant to be my daughter and that I was always meant to be her Mom. We read her Life Book this evening at bed time and talked about things that were on her mind. I told her that someday we will travel back to China and visit Yihuang so that she can see for herself the area she first lived in. Now to wait and see when Baden will ask the same question.

Snapshots from our first days together

June 16, 2005 was Savannah's Adoption Day, though we'd actually taken custody of her the day before, this was the day we would make it official. With so many families to process it wasn't a quick event, as you can see by the exhausted girl laying on the bed (below) after our second stop to start the passport process for the girls.

Here's Savannah and her friend Franci on their first playdate. We opted for the hotel hallway as Scott had come down with what we called "Mao's Revenge."

We stayed at the Gloria Plaza Hotel and from some of the hotel windows we could see this beautiful pavilion across from another hotel. One night we went out for a walk after dinner, enjoying the warm, sultry evening air and as we wound our way back to the hotel two events occurred. The first was this gorgeous view of the pavilion and second was one of my Top 5 Most Memorable Moments of the entire trip. While walking past a restaurant we were approached by a young boy, maybe around 9 or 10 years old, who introduced himself as Tom, pointing out that Tom was his "American" name. We introduced ourselves to him and Tom asked what Savannah's name was and we told him her Chinese name. He said that it was a good name, wisely nodding his head like an old sage. He then asked what her American name was going to be and I told him Savannah. He practiced saying it a few times and smiled with approval. Father's Day 2005. Our group toured the Nanchang Zoo on what was Father's Day back in the US. The zoo itself was very sad, and an event that I could have done without. The stench, the poor conditions that the animals were being kept in compared to our zoo's at home was something I can add to the "Been there done that" list. The bright spot however was this moment of watching my baby girl sleep and watching some of the older kids playing with some of the Chinese kids as they chased bubbles around.
After the zoo we went to finish our last order of business... off to the Police Station to receive the girls' passports and approval to leave the province. As we waited I observed many pregnant women waiting in the lobby area and I wondered several things about them. What were they thinking of these American families adopting these children? Was she struggling with pressures from her family on what to do if she gave birth to a girl? What would be the next part in her baby's story? I could only hope that all would go well. I also couldn't imagine being pregnant in a society that required you to check in with the Police on how your condition was progressing.

The next day we flew off to Guangzhou... or so we thought when we packed our bags, checked out of the hotel and headed to the airport. The flight we were on was supposed to have us in Guangzhou around 8 pm. What should have been a 5 pm departure turned into an ugly wait. For nearly 2 hours we were stuck on the airplane still connected to the jet way because of the monsoon rains impacting the airport in Guangzhou that were preventing us from taking off. The flight crew had no intention of letting anyone off the plane to wait, and the toilets were near the point of being no longer usable. Not prepared with any sort of in-flight service they went to the snack stand and bought bottles of water and crackers for everyone. To look at our guide Wendy you would think that there is no way that this petite young woman could intimidate anyone. I can tell you that she was truly a force to be reckoned with. She went to bat not only for our travel group, but also for another equally as large group of adoptive families. Finally we were allowed off the plane and into the insanity of what had become the terminal. Passengers from backed up flights as well as those still arriving for their flights were all over the place. There was one small noodle shop where we finally staked out seats, but only enough to allow our group to rotate. Hour after hour ticked by without any news of when we could go. The most unnerving part of the trip happened at this point when Savannah's diaper needed to be changed. There wasn't a place in the restroom where I could do that and I found myself going towards a quiet corner, but still near a spot where I could see Scott. A woman in her late 20's or early 30's approached me and was making every effort that she could to help me with Savannah's diaper. To say that I was freaking out about this is an understatement. I kept looking toward the restaurant, willing Scott to turn his head. With shaking hands I hurried to change her diaper, put Savannah back in her carrier and holding her close to my chest managed to dodge the woman and find my way back to the security of Scott and the group. Later, when I was able to think about the encounter, I wondered if she'd been in a position where she'd had to abandon her baby and that was why she was so determined to help me. Finally around midnight we were allowed to board the plane and begin the next leg of our journey to bring Savannah home.

We arrived in Guangzhou around 2 am, with the plan for the next day to be passport photos and the medical visit required by the State Department for immigrant visa's. We were able to sleep in a little bit before heading down to take in the famous White Swan breakfast buffet. After eating the breakfast we had in Beijing and Nanchang, finding ourselves face to face with a spread that included french toast and other treats was amazing. Savannah had already rejected congee back in Nanchang and once she tasted the eggs and other baby friendly foods from the buffet there was definitely no going back for her. It was at breakfast that we were able to first see the impact of the rains that had prevented the foster moms in Jiangxi from traveling to the orphanage on the day that Scott and several other parents visited Yihuang. The color of the water wasn't a surprise to me after seeing the Mississippi, but the bloated pigs floating down river were unexpected. Trees and other debris kept drifting past the windows. After breakfast we had enough time to walk a bit of Shamian Island, which is where we first met Jordan of Jordan's, the shop well-known in the Yahoo DTC group world. He was hurrying along, coming from the direction of the canal that separates Shamian Island from mainland Guangzhou. Jordan stopped to introduce himself and ask where we were from. Our friends said Montana and for ease of geography I told him Seattle. After a bit more conversation he warned us that if we were going somewhere we should hurry because the water was near ready to crest over the side of the canal and flood the streets on Shamian Island. Within minutes the water was rising and beginning to make its way into shops. Within an hour it was nearly at knee level and I'm sure we were all a sight as we trudged through the flooding water with mom's holding babies and dad's carrying strollers above their heads as we walked to the medical clinic. The water got to be so bad that the first floor lobby of the White Swan was flooded and we never did see the swimming pool because of it being closed. I remember seeing some long white floating things that I am still referring to as really long worms (I'm in denial that they were dead snakes) and the water made our legs itch and burn. Yuck!

The following day we had our appointment at the US Consulate where we took the next step toward Savannah becoming a US Citizen by taking an oath on her behalf. After that we were off for an adventurous shopping trip to the wholesale district. Scott was already beginning to realize that Savannah's love of shopping was a quality innate to her and not something she was learning from me. Walking through the wholesaler proved his worst fears true. Not only did she like to shop, she had decisive taste too. Savannah picked out two dresses that she liked as well as some shoes and a hat.

After a trip to the wholesaler we set off on our first non-guided adventure. Scott, myself and our friend Arin and our two girls set off to find Six Banyan Temple with the hope of having our girls blessed by Buddhist monks. Armed with only the address of where we were going on one side of the hotel business card we wound our way via cab through the streets of Guangzhou. Talk about a leap of faith! At the mercy of a cab driver that we had no way of talking to beyond "thank you," "you're welcome," and "cold Coca Cola." Finally we found ourselves in front of the temple and I almost had to laugh at the trinket shops next door selling all the Buddha and Quan Yin statues. Quan Yin is the deity that refused to enter into Heaven because there were still people on Earth who were suffering, also known as "She who hears all cries." No doubt she was close to hearing from me if we hadn't arrived at our destination when we did. We made it inside, looked around as we tried to figure out what to do next and began to wander around. We walked into one building where a young monk began to play a game of peek-a-boo with Savannah. Both of them were laughing at the antics of the other. We continued wandering for a bit when an older monk approached me and told me in English "You have a beautiful daughter." Surprised at being spoken to in English, I smiled back at him and said "Xie xie." The interactions with both monks was blessing enough for me after that.

The next day was a big day. We were leaving mainland China for a short stay in Hong Kong over night before continuing on to Seattle. As I sat in the airplane taxing toward the runway bound for Hong Kong I was struck with magnitude of the moment and the responsibility being placed on my shoulders. Here was my baby girl leaving the only world she'd known. Never again would her perspective of China be solely hers. The next time she would come back she could discover her own perspective, but it would be created with a bit of comparison to life in the US. Just as I knew she would have a good and happy life with us, I also knew that it was our job to help keep her connection to her birth culture intact and to look for opportunities at home for her to be a part of our local Chinese community.

Savannah set the pace for the day, we checked into the hotel attached to the Hong Kong airport and Savannah promptly fell asleep for a few hours.

In the afternoon we made our way to the tram that takes people up Victoria Peak where we wandered around and found a trail offering gorgeous views all around Hong Kong and Lantau Island. This city steeped in British influence and Chinese traditions seemed like the perfect bridge from Savannah's life in the East to her life in the West.

I've started this blog... now what?

I guess the first place to start is with how I arrived to where I am today. You know that saying about life being a journey and not a destination? That phrase pretty much sums it up. My life has been one adventurous journey - not death defying by any means, but the kind that reminds you to keep looking for all of life's possibilities.

First, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tassie (Orem) Kowal. I have been married to my husband for 7 years and we have two incredible children. Yes, that does sound biased and I'm allowed to rave about how amazing they are because I am not the mother who gave them life. I am the mother teaching them to live it. Both of our children were born in and adopted from China. In June 2005 we adopted our daughter from Jiangxi province when she was 15 months old. Two years later Scott, Savannah and I flew back to China to adopt our son from Guangdong province, who is 4 1/2 months older than our daughter. With how their birthday's fall Baden and Savannah are considered "virtual" twins as they will always be in the same grade in school. Each adoption journey was incredibly different, and in the end the result was the same - we received the child we were meant to have and to everyone who meets our kids it is clear that there is no other sibling in the world meant for each of these two.

We adopted Savannah at the height of International Adoptions from China. According to Adoptive Families magazine in 2005 there were 7,906 adoptions from China and we were part of that half-way mark that year. We knew before we even traveled to adopt Savannah that we wanted two children and that as soon possible we would submit our application for our second child from China.

That first trip to China is still so surreal four years later. I loved the chance to tour around Beijing, and to find myself standing in the middle of Tiananemen Square and thinking back to what I'd seen of the student protests years before was something we all wanted to talk about but were afraid that if we did, we'd be tossed out of the country without our children (yes, we did remember to pack our paranoia - lol!). I loved the serenity of the Summer Palace. Standing on the Great Wall was something that I just couldn't get my mind around. As a child I could imagine going to see the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben or London Bridge. The Great Wall of China was never even on the radar of possibility for me, but there I was looking at this cross-section of the world. Families from Australia, Canada and Spain were walking the Wall steps with their newly adopted children mixed in with all the people from around China who were there for the same reason - to experience this wonder of the world. The activity of the Temple of Heaven was also fun and exciting. Scott and I both tried tai chi ball, which is basically like a squash racket with a rubber membrane and the idea to move the racket with a ball on it with the traditional tai chi movements. Humbling? Yes. Though I would make a fool of myself like that again if it meant connecting with people from where my children were born. (Oh wait! I did do that again in 2007 when I tried another past-time - a version of hackey sack, but with a sand-filled badminton birdie. My best advice is to not even attempt this with flip-flops on.)

Finally it was June 15th. The day that we had waited nearly 18 months for had arrived. We flew from Beijing to Nanchang to get our girl. The child I had dreamt of, but was never able to see her face in the dream - only her gorgeous dark hair sticking up. That morning, as we were packing, my back-pack style diaper bag was transformed from traveling back-pack to a full on diaper bag - out went the books and in went the diapers, bottle, toys, blanket and Cheerios. I had learned a lesson from one of my friends who had adopted her daughter a couple months before us when they didn't have time to unpack before being taken to the Civil Affairs office in her daughter's province. I needed to be prepared to hit the ground running and if we were so lucky to attempt a quick unpack at the hotel before heading to the Jiangxi Civil Affairs office, then even better. Scott continued his role as "pack mule" - all the paperwork and other necessary documents in his possession.

Finally we found ourselves walking into the small Civil Affairs office, made even smaller by 26 excited parents, an aunt, a grandma, three older siblings and soon the confused cries of 13 babies ranging in age from nearly 2 years old to 14 months. As we waited for the children to arrive the sister of one of our travelmates kept popping into the hallway to look for them. Our news reports came back like this "Oh! I see them!", "Several of them are walking!", "OH! I think I see her!!" Sitting there waiting for your dream to come true and knowing that someone else is on the verge of seeing it unfold in moments only made the anticipation and nerves in the room more palpable. One by one the girls' names were called out and finally I heard our daughter's name. I remember walking fast, though Scott recalls it more like a Heisman-worthy rush to our guide. I stood there with tears already in my eyes and looked towards the doorway. In the midst of all these adult legs belonging to Civil Affairs staff and orphanage nannies, stood a little body wearing lime green cotton knit pants and wearing lime green jelly shoes that reminded me of high-school in the mid-80's. There she was! My daughter took her first steps toward her new life before being picked up by an ayi (In Mandarin "ayi" means "aunt" and is the term used in the orphanages to refer to the caregivers) who was then handed to the orphanage director. My little girl who grew in my heart was in front of me and her hair was indeed sticking up - in a single little pony-tail at the top of her head. For the first moment I held her there was nothing, only my tears and then her cries of confusion started. Our guide in Beijing taught me the word for baby ("bao bei") and I kept telling her "It's okay xiao bao bei (little baby)." By this time one of the other couples we'd become friends with in Beijing had also received their daughter and I took a cue from Arin, who was happily feeding her daughter Cheerios. Cheerios were a huge hit with Savannah and as long as we kept them coming, all was good. I had noticed one gentleman that was part of the orphanage staff having a particular look of thoughtful concern for Savannah. Not one of suspicion, but one of looking for reassurance. Aside from knowing that he was the driver for the orphanage and the person who delivered all the supplies to the foster families our girls had been living with each week and the director's brother, I don't know of any other connection between him and Savannah. I remember smiling at him back at the hotel lobby, while the dad's were being instructed in how to make the bottles, and hoping he could see on my face that I already loved this little girl and that she would be kept safe and taken care of. Later that week Scott was able to visit the orphanage, actually referred to as a Social Welfare Institute (SWI), and have a picture taken with the driver as something for Savannah to have when she's older.

The photo at left was taken on our first night with her, after we called home to let our families know that we had our girl. She did go through some serious gut-wrenching grieving, crying as if her world had just been taken from her. As hard as it was to watch, I knew that she had to go through it in order to come out the other side of her grief. Not grieving would only add road-blocks later in life. I could comfort her, but it was also my responsibility as her parent to allow her to feel her emotions. I eventually was able to help her calm down by rubbing some Johnson's soothing lotion on her. I started at her feet because that seemed to be a less intimidating spot to start, softly talking to her as I massaged her legs, her hands, her tummy and just as my hand reached the base of her neck near her shoulders she let out the biggest giggle. I had found her tickle spot! From that moment on we had a new level to our bond of mother and daughter.