Tough Conversations

This evening Savannah walked into the den as I was writing my second posting here and asked what I was doing once she noticed the pictures of her as a baby. I explained that I was in the middle of writing about when we first met and she became my daughter. We've talked about her adoption before, I've mentioned that she has birth-parents who for some reason that we don't know weren't able to raise her and that until we met her she'd lived with a foster mom and her family. Savannah nodded her head when I reminded her of that, saying "Yes, I lived on a farm and she had chickens." She followed that up with "Was I an orphan?" I told her that in a way yes, because her birth-parents weren't able to raise her and I don't really know anything else about them. With tears in her eyes she looked at me and said "You mean they didn't want me?" I wrapped her in my arms and held her tight as I said that I don't know their side of the story but I could imagine this - they loved her enough to want her to have a better life than they could provide for her. She was found in a place where she could be found quickly and knowing that, it tells me that they wanted her kept safe and out of harm. I also reminded her of the Chinese legend of the red thread "A red thread connects all who are destined to meet, regardless of time, distance or circumstance. The thread may tangle and stretch, but it will never break." I reminded her that we have a red thread that has always connected us, to which she said "Yes, from my heart to yours Mom." I told her that I believe that she was always meant to be my daughter and that I was always meant to be her Mom. We read her Life Book this evening at bed time and talked about things that were on her mind. I told her that someday we will travel back to China and visit Yihuang so that she can see for herself the area she first lived in. Now to wait and see when Baden will ask the same question.