Yin and Yang

陰... In traditional Chinese the character for Yin Yang looks so complex and intricate and when I stop to think about how elements in nature, and in people, work together I believe the Chinese were on to something. Though a person, or tree, or situation may seem simple on the surface, when you stop to take a closer look you begin to see the give and take that exists in each of them. That being said, I like the simplicity of Mulan's explanation to a girl in her village at the start of Disney's Mulan II :


Mulan: "I know it does sound a little funny, huh? But the world is full of opposites,and so are you. To be a good warrior, you must bring it all into balance. Let's see if this helps. Earth, sky. Day, night. Sound and silence. Dark and light. One alone is not enough you need both together. Winter, summer, moon and sun - Lesson number one.


The girl: "Wow!"


Mulan: "Like a rock you must be hard, like an oak you must stand firm. Cut quick like my blade, think fast- unafraid."


The girl: "Like a rock I must be hard. Like an oak I must stand firm. Cut quick like my blade.
Think fast - unafraid. Okay, Mulan, I'm ready. "


Mulan: "But you're still out of balance. You're only halfway there. Like a cloud you are soft, like bamboo you bend in the wind. Creeping slow you're at peace because you know it's okay to be afraid"


In my family the picture of yin yang is also known as Baden and Savannah... and not just because one is a boy and the other a girl, or because she is taller and more athletic, while Baden is smaller and more mechanically inclined. One of the most asked questions that I get is "How do they get along?" While on the surface the question may be interpreted as "How do your two children, who are roughly the same age, get along?" The deeper question that most people are asking without coming right out and actually saying it is "How do these two children, who are not biologically related, who were adopted several years apart, are only a few months apart in age and had not met until the day became brother and sister get along?" There are various replies that I'd like to give such as "Well, how do you get along with your brother or sister?" Thankfully I understand the intention most people have behind their question and generally respond "Really well, though they do have their moments."


Baden's referral described him as liking to be treated like the younger brother, which we thought would mesh quite well with our girl whose behavior was more of an older sister. Though he is technically older their relationship today is similar to how it was in the beginning. He consults her more often than she consults him, you could say that she counsels him instead. They are both always up for an adventure, though their approaches are different. Baden prefers to stay with the pack and hold our hands, while Savannah happily skips a few paces ahead, occasionally checking to make sure that we are still there.


When it comes to playing, their interaction can be quite entertaining. They both love dinosaurs and together they've found a way to play with the same thing in a way that makes them both happy. The kids have defined roles for their dino's "Mom" and "Scott" (why not Dad I don't know, but dad is called "Scott.") Just as many girl's tend to do, Savannah can play "house" while Baden can roar to his hearts content. One of them will come up with some adventure or problem to solve in their dinosaur world and together they figure it out.


Last weekend we made the one hour drive from Bellingham to Vancouver BC to experience the city before the Winter Olympics arrive next month. Perhaps it was being in a completely different environment that had me pausing to watch the two of them interact, or maybe it was our single adventure that kept me more in the moment and able to notice it. Regardless it was fun to watch them and the concept of yin and yang kept popping into my head.


Their personalities really showed themselves when we stopped at a park near Telus Science World. Part of the play structure was a wooden suspension bridge made from logs sawed in half with the round side up. Adventurous Savannah tackled the bridge running, while the more cautious Baden gingerly made his way across. Savannah made a game of dodging the camera, while Baden hammed it up. Savannah desperately wanted to try her luck at a different type of monkey bar, but was too afraid that she couldn't do it. Meanwhile from the sidelines Baden was cheering her on "Come on mei mei you can do it! Go mei mei!"

The other classic example of them came with the vertical climbing wall that had wet, slick wooden toe holds that were about 2" deep and a rope to hold on to. Determined to scale this wall Savannah grabbed hold of the rope and made it to the second step only to hop down and declare that she couldn't do it. Again her cheerleader was by her side rooting her on. She tried it again, stopping in the same place with the same look of resignation on her place. Once again her cheerleader leaped into action, only this time it was joined with "See mei mei, this is how you do it" and without holding the rope he scaled the wall, leaving Savannah hanging out on the second step. Though the victory was his, he didn't rub it in her face. Instead he finally hopped across the wooden bridge to get down and try his luck on the climbing wall again, happily singing "I did it! I did it!" over and over. With the same determination she started with Savannah continued to persevere, not letting go of her original tactic - using the rope.

The funny part is how their actions also reflect their Chinese Zodiac signs. Baden is a sheep - calmer, more thoughtful, stubborn. Savannah is a monkey - playful, energetic, always up for a good time, and loves to hang out (from tree limbs, the rope in this case, the monkey bars at school and in parks).

After writing all of this down I'm beginning to rethink my stock response to the question of how do they get along. I think the real answer is "How they were meant to."